Friday, August 26, 2011

Danger: tears of laughter

Sometimes I get emotional about unusual things. I'm telling you, tears can straight up flow like a river from these lacrimal glands. Let me know if you share some of my oddities.

For example: I cry when someone wins a major sporting event. The Super Bowl? I can't handle it. When Drew Brees held his baby up after winning? Someone please, give me a tissue. It's a little embarrassing because I feel pretty tough for loving football as much as I do, then I break down like a baby.


One time I saw a commercial for a Disney movie and just lost it. I still haven't seen the movie it was advertising, but apparently it seemed quite moving in the preview.

And it's not just emotional moments like watching sports' championships on the television. If you get me laughing hard enough my eyes start leaking so bad I can't see (in fact, I sometimes worry my eyes won't be the only thing leaking...)

Just this past week I read the newspaper (who knew those even existed anymore??) and saw a headline that caught my eye. Maybe it's not as funny to other people as I think it is, but I certainly appreciated the fiends who hacked into an Arizona construction sign to warn commuters of the danger of vicious pandas in the neighborhood.

Good times, Arizonians... good times.

Friday, August 12, 2011

I'll have the fish

I don't understand everyone's fascination with Friday. What is all this "TGIF"? What is there to be so excited about on Friday over other days of the week? There's no meat on Fridays, I have to work every other Friday, and tomorrow is Saturday: my least favorite day of the week. Except for that restaurant that Friday has, Friday is just a bundle of disappointment.

I prefer Thursday.

I guess on Friday most people have their friends kickin' in the front seat and sittin' in the back seat, and their biggest concern of the day is deciding which seat to take....

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

There's finally a party in my tummy!

Let me tell you about what a deprived childhood I had.

1: There are so many foods I didn't know you could cook at home until I was an adult! For example: meatballs. I was convinced meatballs came in a bag from the freezer, and that you microwaved them in some CorningWare. I hadn't the slightest clue that it was humanly possible to take ground beef, mix it up in a bowl with some spices, and actually roll them with my hands to make a scrumptious meal!

2: Fruit is a fantastic and easy treat at any time of the day. That's right, I did not eat fresh fruit as a child. I vaguely remember eating an apple or two, and maybe having some watermelon in the summer, but aside from that, my belly was neglected.

3: The juicy deliciousness of a tender chicken breast marinated in Italian dressing never met my lips until my 20s. Why, Mother, did you never soak meats for 24 hours before grilling them for our family?! It's a mighty shame I had to eat only moderately moist chicken for so many years.

Don't worry, Mom. I don't blame you for disregarding my taste buds. Considering the only things I feel I missed out on in my childhood relate to my diet, you must have done a pretty good job raising me.

After all, you did give me the opportunity to practice my fashion, make-up and nail polish skills on my four younger brothers.