Monday, November 11, 2013

An Ode to Chubby Baby Cheeks (sweetened and condensed)

Oh, you perfectly edible offspring of mine,
What glorious rolls you posses!
So round and white and smooth,
Like a remarkable combination of a pearl and a pillow,
And a delicious cheeseburger.


Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Sto lat

My birthday is basically my favorite day of the year.

Occasionally, Thanksgiving falls on my birthday. Those years, when we're going around the table, saying what we're thankful for, y'all better say "Lo-lo" or more than the turkey is going to get cut. ( ;) )

And don't think that you can just put a candle in the pumpkin pie and call it my birthday cake. I want the Real Deal Funfetti layer cake, hand-crafted for the special occasion.

Also, I get to sleep in until at least 9am.

The Lions, preferably, should win. They often disappoint.

Anyway, Thanksgiving falls a week after my birthday this year, so there's plenty of days a surprise party can be thrown in my honor without being invaded by green bean casserole or cranberry sauce.

I definitely love my birthday.


I'm starting to feel old.

I know, I'm not old. I'm really quite young compared to the majority of the American population. But strange phenomena are happening lately. I need two cups of coffee just to function. Two beers give me a headache the next day. I enjoy shopping for dishes!

Possibly worst of all, I'm realizing there are adults, who have actual jobs and families and real lives, who are YOUNGER than I am!!!

I know, it's an abomination.

The only way I've found to cope is to just accept it, bake cupcakes and say whatever the heck I want. Because I realized that even though I'm not that young and adorable new nurse at work, I no longer care what people think about me! So what if I'm starting to get wrinkles? They're awesome! They show that I know how to smile so much that it's being permanently etched around my eyes! Your young eyes are framed by your super-cute designer glasses? Ha! My are framed by wisdom and excellence! And a couple gray hairs!

And while I can't remember a time I was actually asked for ID at the bar, they always ask at Meijer.

So at least I don't look older than 40.