Thursday, May 24, 2012

Minus the Russian spies and all that....

I am recanting my previous post and moving further back in time. Supporting statements as follows.

Point 1:

The Husband claims that people are getting more and more obese every year because of air conditioning. We've been trying to get a little more fit lately. Ergo, it's now 80 degrees in my house. Surprisingly, the conditions are not as miserable as I first assumed.

Point 2:

Since it is now so warm in my homestead, and of course considering I'm as fashionable as they come ("they" being 20-something mothers of two who have too many student loans, watch too much Gossip Girl, and have a Target card) dresses are taking over my closet. It's incomprehensible how many adorable dresses exist in stores this year. I think I might accidentally buy five right now.

Point 3:

Speaking of shopping on the internet, I purchased a new iron yesterday. It has inclined me to embrace my status as goddess of domesticity and iron all of the Husband's shirts, my bed sheets, the children's clothes, and the curtains that I don't even own... yet. All of this, of course, will be completed while wearing heels and pearls in my fabulous new dresses.

In conclusion, I watched Rear Window last night. I'm certain I will present myself as Grace Kelly, in her $1,100 Parisian gown on a 90 degree day with nary a bead of sweat, and not as the chubby sunbather who makes weird sculptures and yells at the murderous neighbor about flowers or something.

Well, maybe I'll just shoot for the middle ground and be the quick-witted home care nurse, Stella. That lady is ballin'.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Getting my Cardigan on.

I can't care about anything but vehemently rocking out to 90s pop-tunes.

<001> - Lovefool by The Cardigans on Grooveshark

While I'm at it, I'm going to wear ostentatiously colored shorts and jelly shoes. That's right, I'm in elementary school again. Thanks for the selection of everything in neon, Target!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Food is delicious.

I have two things for you to digest today.

Number one:

Stop comparing breastfeeding mothers to monkeys.

I get it. Primates are kind of like humans, having opposable thumbs and wearing clothes while they play musical instruments and all that. BUT THEY'RE ANIMALS! Just because a chimp suckles her babes until they're in preschool doesn't mean I have to. Humans have the ability to make intelligent decisions for themselves and their young that are not based solely on continuing the species. Love and affection are a few key ingredients in the mix.

(Disclaimer: I fully, 100% support breastfeeding until you and your babe are absolutely ready to discontinue, whether that be at 6 months or 6 years)

Number two:

I think I'm going to eat banana bread for every meal, and bake it every day. I'm also going to add pecans and chocolate chips to the batter, every day. Also, love and affection.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Holy Roller? Holy Roller.

You might have heard of this 2 word story thing before. I really don't know much about it, but I do know that I see the signs all over the place.

Today I saw one that said "Content? Content."

I thought, "that's the dumbest thing ever."

I suppose living a Christian life can make you feel more content, but I think it should do exactly the opposite. While striving to become more like Christ, we should feel challenged, and empowered. Never content.When we start to feel too content with our spiritual lives, that's when we invite laziness, and we stop working to become more holy.

And just so you don't feel like I'm getting too serious:

Happy Birthday, G!!