Have you met the new and improved Lolo, self-proclaimed master housewife extraordinaire?
It's true, after only three and a half years of marriage I've become a pro chef, baker, cleaner, grocery shopper and mom.
You don't believe me? Let's stack up the evidence:
1. Today, I made cookies without using a recipe. Granted, I had an idea of what kind of cookie I would like to make, and I'm sure there exists a recipe for double-chocolate Andes mint chip cookies with bonus chocolate chips, but I did not feel like scouring the internet for said recipe. I hate following recipes. That stupid, pretentious cookbook telling me what to do is inexplicably obnoxious. Let me do my own thing!
Not to mention, this is the second time I've done this in one month!
15 points to Lolo (hey, making a new baking recipe is hard! It's science!)
2. I made a bacon cheeseburger meatloaf for dinner on Monday. Again, no recipes. Does this really need any back-up explanation? The husband loves me.
3. My house smells like fabric softener and baked goods all the time, and not like human excrement. This is quite the feat considering we're in the midst of potty training a two and a half year old, and we have a seven month old who recently began eating a variety of fruits and veggies.
4. As far as I know, my kids love Jesus. Z says the Hail Mary every night, and sings The King of Glory as we light the advent wreath, and G doesn't cry too much at mass.
175 points (don't judge, that's God's job.)
5. I'm pretty good at hiding my faults from the public. Though I can bake and cook with mad skills, and keep my children on the path to righteousness whilst smelling sweet, I'll admit I have my off days. However, the whole internet doesn't need to know about it!
- 4 points (for a lack of transparency)
If I can do math properly, which I'm sure all my patients hope to heaven that I can, that totals out to 199. Don't ask me what the scale is for homemaker of the year, because I just made up random point amounts with no real justification. I'm guessing I'm somewhere in the top 3,529, though.
Revel in my prowess and prolificity, bitches.